1.) Mighty Mondalo…I tell them to stay on ISLAND and they say…CANNOT, CANNOT! WE KNOW OF THE BRIMPMAN’S ISLAND LEGEND! So i hoist all these INCOMPLETE stories on down a few levels to BRIMP-STORAGE, and compile “BUTTFRANKLIN’S LIST OF ANNOYANCES, GRIEVANCES, FREELANCE MEDITATIONAL ALTITUDE STORAGE, COMPILER OF definitive, slowly moving, glacial INFORMATION TRANS-HOIST in the BUTTFRANKLIN AEON GLOW ROOM.
2.) Smart style…BUTTFRANKLIN knew what he was getting into with this quality MATCHING SILVERWARE AND SUIT-JACKET SET! Marvel as TUBE BOUNCE DYNAMICS come into play, then you are set on “BRIMP-BROIL”!
3.) You jackass. BRIMPMAN isn’t a snack food. BRIMP de SHRIMP is a new dish at the BRIMPMAN BUTTFRANKLIN HOUSE OF LOBSTER with FREE MEAL FOR PEOPLE with ARMS! One only, storewide, no duplicates available. If you are second in line, then (BRIMP)TOUGH!
4.) Paramecial BRIMPMAN will stutter to ya, if not, send $1 for a BRIMPMAN BUTTFRANKLIN CATALOGUE de BUTTFRANKLINESE. INSIDE you will find amazing things, such as BRIMPMAN MOTIVATIONAL CASSETTES(limited quantity), BRIMPMAN BUTTFRANKLIN ZINES with information regarding BRIMPMAN’S TRANSFORMATION de BRIMP! **FOR ANY INTERESTED IN THE BRIMP-MERCHANDISE, PLEASE CONTACT BRIMPMAN AT: CASA DE BRIMP.
5.) STORM into the new age of digital technology with your very own BRIMP-FORMATIVE world of KNOWLEDGE! SEE new things related to the DREAM of COUCHES, STACKS of raddishes and INFORMATION PACKETS, veritable WALLS of some-of-a-kind BRIMPMAN CASSETTES and CD-RS, and of course HANDWRITTEN LETTERS ABOUT HATS AND SHRIMP, written by none other than BRIMPMAN BUTTFRANKLIN.
6.) Feast your eyes on the latest gear…BY SHUTTING UP! BRIMP-STYLE!
7.) You must be aware that BRIMPMAN’S LEATHER COUCH of MYSTERY has ever existed, instead, there has been the GOOFY 70’s SHAG CARPET COUCH complete with TED N*GENT ERA STAINS! THE “COUCHFRANKLIN” model comes complete with extra thumbtacks to hold on the extremely worn upholstery. BRIMP-DE-GOON, YOU GONNA SWOON! NOW IN HD with BRIMPMAN VIDEO CD’S! MARVEL as BRIMPMAN LOOKS AT THE CAMERA, and dares you to think…”THIS IS BORING! BUT COOL!”
8.) SALADE’ DE’ CAPISTRANO, A’LA BRIMPY BRIMP BRIMPFRANKLIN BUTTMAN.
9.) BRIMPMAN’S FINANCIAL ENDEAVHOR’DOUEVERES. BRIMPMAN will salute anyone on camera, BY NAME. FOR ONLY a fee of $5(SHIPPING INCLUDED ON ALL OFFERS), A HAND-MADE VIDEO CD(compatible with computer-dores or hyper-regular DVD PLAYR’S, THIS DISK will not only shock you AS BRIMPMAN takes a defiant turn by kicking a cat toy and then ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING like kicking the sidewalk OR even doing something like talking maniacally to the camera, then belching INTO THE MICROPHONE! EACH ONE IS DIFFERENT, CONTAINS COOL STUFF ABOUT BRAINS, and absolutely is guaranteed to be 100% BRIMP-TASTIC! AVERAGE VIDEO LENGTH: 56 MINUTES! OF BRIMPMAN BUTTFRANKLINESQUE ART-BRUT POOT-STRACTACULAR ESCAPADES de BRIMP! YOU…MAY…ASK…QUESTION!
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